Sleepless Nights and Starry Skies
by ameliaa-holmes
Summary: Castiel can't sleep, the nightmares are keeping him awake. Dean tries to comfort his friend and the night heads in a direction that neither of them expected it to go. (Human!Cas)


**(Human!Castiel)**

**Aw man this gives me intense feels. Inspired from an RP I had on Omegle.**

**Enjoy and please comment telling me what you think! :)**

Castiel jolted up in bed, panting. His eyes darted wildly around the motel room trying to figure out where he was. He drew his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead on them. He bit his lip to stifle a whimper. It had been the same nightmare again.

Dean, who had been having a sleepless night, rolled over - spotting Castiel balled up on his bed across the room. "Cas?" He whispered, trying not to wake Sam up.

"I'm fine, Dean." Castiel whispered back. "Go back to sleep."

Dean bit his lip, half tempted to roll back over and pull the blankets over his head, blocking out the world. Instead, he got up and walked across the room to Castiel's bed. "I know 'fine' when I see it Cas. And you sure don't look it."

Castiel curled in tighter on himself. He tried to block it out. All of it. The sounds. The breathing. The loss. And the pain. The footsteps on sand that once were but will never be again. "I'm fine."

Dean looked over at his sleeping brother. "Do you want to...get some fresh air?"Castiel, hesitating, lifted his head and gave a small silent nod. "Come on then, up you get." Dean slid an arm under Cas' and helped him to his feet.

Castiel flinched slightly at Dean's touch but recovered quickly. He warmed to the feeling of having support as Dean's strong bones pressed into his numb skin. Dean walked Cas out the of the motel room and to the impala. He pulled two fold out chairs from the boot of the car and helped Castiel sit down in one. Castiel took a long deep gulp of air, breathing in the smell of oil, rust, brick, dirt and leather...the smell of Dean. He tilted his head back, staring up at the sky.

Dean followed Cas' gaze, admiring the stars. "Do you...want to talk about it?"

No. Cas did not want to talk about it. But it was Dean who was asking. "Metatron, the fall, you." He summarized quickly not looking at Dean.

_"Me?"_ Dean raised an eyebrow. He swallowed the lump that had abruptly formed in his throat and continued, "You know the dreams aren't real Cas. They're all just part of being human."

Castiel sighed. "I_ know_ that. Doesn't mean they don't feel real at the time." When he was dreaming, Castiel could _feel _every particle of air, every drop of blood and every tear shed. It caused him as much physical pain as it caused him mentally. It made his bones feel weightless and his organs empty.

"I know." Dean frowned. "I'm sorry you have to go through this."

"Don't be. It's not like you have any control over it."

"I still hate seeing you go through this Cas. I hate that you have to go through it alone."

"I'm fine. Dean." Cas lied. "I can handle a little nightmare."

Dean looked at Cas, examining the fallen angel's empty blue eyes. "I think you pretend to be okay when you're really not." He paused. "I know, because I do it too."

Castiel smirked. "Doesn't everyone at some point?"

Dean chuckled. "Well yeah, I guess so."

Castiel looked over at Dean. An expression appeared on his face that Dean had missed all so much. His eyes squinted, brows lowering, lips pursing. He looked so young. A child of innocence, born into a world where he did not belong. "So then is anyone really ever 'fine'?"

Dean frowned. "I don't know Cas. I wish I could say yes."

A small smile played across Castiel's lips. "What about you then?"

"Am I fine?" Dean laughed. "No. I'm not Cas. I've seen too much to ever be 'fine'." He paused, looking back up at the emptiness of the black sky. "Does that make sense?"

"Completely." Cas breathed and Dean's chest loosened. Dean smiled. "I'm glad I have you Cas."

"And I, you, Dean." Castiel felt calmer now, to not be trapped in his dreams. He hated that each night he had to fall victim to sleep. It made him feel...vulnerable.

Dean, cautiously, reached over and placed his hand on Cas' chair, palm open and facing up. Cas grabbed his hand lightly with little hesitation. Such acts of affection were still alien to him.

"Does it feel strange?" Dean stared down at the fallen angel's hand. "Being human?" Cas' hand was worn and represented a life of suffering. Tiny scars laced his knuckles, his palms. It was a different kind of damage to the calluses evident on Dean's hand. Dean realized at that moment how similar the two of them were.

Castiel sighed. "How do you think you would feel if you one day just woke up an entirely different species?"

"To be honest, Cas, I can't even imagine it." Dean bit his lip.

"It's different - a whole new definition of different - but I am growing used to it."

Dean smiled. "One day, it'll all just feel normal."

Castiel shook his head. "You know how strong your emotions are?"

"What do you mean?" Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Think about how strongly your emotions effect you now. Now imagine that just being multiplied by ten."

Dean looked at Cas. "All of them? Every emotion? They're all that strong?"

"That's the level of transition I'm working though." He stared back up at the stars.

"Sounds like you're PMSing to me Cas" Dean teased. He chuckled when Castiel shot him a half-hearted glare. "I'm joking." Dean laughed, punching the fallen angel on the shoulder.

Castiel rolled his eyes, a human action he had adapted from watching Dean's body language. "It's been quite the eye open experience."

"Oh yeah?" Dean raised an eyebrow. "What has it opened your eyes to?"

"You and Sam have made many emotion based decisions that I was unable to fully understand before. Now they are much clearer to me."

Dean smiled softly to himself."You understand more now. You _see_ more." Castiel nodded. To him, Dean's observation was mere fact. Whether it was good or bad that he understood more now, he did not know. "When you look up to the sky. What do you see?"Dean asked, his voice hushed.

"A vast expanse of what could have been just nothingness but yet was painted by the stars."

Dean smiled. Cas' words sent warmth spiraling down his spine. He found himself thinking of his own life - of the nothingness it had been and could have been but how instead it was saved by Sam and Cas ... his stars in the night sky. "Poetic." He turned to Cas. "I like this you."

Castiel looked at Dean. "I don't understand. I am the same as I have always been."

"You are, Cas. You are." Dean paused. "But I think now, you see more things. You _appreciate_ more."

"Perhaps," Castiel said, a small smile playing across his lips.

"Well I think so." Dean said, tightening his grip on Castiel's hand. He could feel the scars on Cas' fingers burn into his flesh. Castiel said nothing simply squeezing Dean's hand back gently.

"Love ya man." Dean muttered, not even sure if it was loud enough for Cas to hear.

"I love you too Dean." Castiel said quietly. He turned to look at him, his eyes full of fondness for the hunter.

"_Nothing_ will change that." Dean smiled.

"Never." Castiel replied giving Dean's hand a light squeeze.

"Cas -" Dean hesitated, wondering if he should go any further. "Are you...you know..."

"Am I what?" Cas looked so innocently confused again, like a small child. It made Dean's heart beat faster than ever.

**"**You know...are you...gay?"

Castiel was silent for a moment. "I never had a specific gender identity before so it is hard to say. But, I know it has always been you. And will only ever be you."

Dean smiled. Hesitating before leaning across to give Cas a small kiss on his cheek. He felt the softness of Castiel's stubble beneath his lips.

Castiel smiled moving to brush his lips over Dean's forehead. An almighty warmth radiated off Cas' lips. _Human warmth. _He stared at their intertwined hands, brushing his thumb over the worn skin on Dean's knuckles. Dean's hands were cold. He placed both his hands on Castiel's and allowed him to cup them to bring some warmth into them. He had never felt so much _life _radiating from Castiel. It excited him.

Castiel frowned at the coldness Dean's fingers. "Maybe you should head back into the room..."

"I don't want to wake ..." Dean shrugged. "Oh what the hell. Come on then."

Castiel stood up, stretching. He sighed as the joints in his back popped. Dean threw the chairs back into the impala. "Do you want to...sleep in my bed tonight?" Castiel simply stared at Dean for a moment. "I'd like that..."

Dean smiled. "Besides, I need you to keep me warm. It's freaking freezing!" He grabbed Cas' hand and dragged him back towards the motel.

**"**Dean, wait." Castiel stopped him just outside the door.

Dean spun around. "Yes?"

**"**Just need to do this."

Castiel gripped Dean's shirt and pressed their lips together. Dean smiled, his lips still pressed hard to Cas'. Groaning, he wrapped his arms tightly around Cas and pulled him closer. Cas slid his hands up to Dean's shoulders pressing himself up against the hunter. As he did so, Dean stumbled backwards, his back hitting the brick wall. He bunched Cas' shirt in his fists. Dean was no longer cold. He was a blaze of heat.

Castiel sighed against Dean's lips winding his arms around his neck. Their foreheads remained pressed together."I like this." Dean breathed into Castiel's lips

"I do too."

"Now I don't want to go back inside." Dean laughed, kissing Castiel several times on the lips.

Castiel smirked. "We could continue inside but we run the risk of waking Sam."

"Hmmm..." Dean imagined Sam waking up to Dean and Cas in such a position. He bit his lip. "Worth the risk?"

Castiel pressed his lips to Dean's throat. "Or there's always the backseat of the Impala." A large smile spread across Dean's face. He kissed Castiel on the lips one more time before racing off to unlock the impala. Castiel laughed following after him. Briefly, he wondered how many humans Dean had taken into his impala to make out. A lot, he imagined. And most of them girls. But Cas didn't care. It all seemed irrelevant.

"Fallen angels first." Dean joked, opening the door and waving for Cas to crawl in. Castiel clambered in, sliding so his back was against the far door. Dean slid in after him. He leaned forward, turning the radio on softly.

"Nice touch" Castiel commented.

"Essential." Dean smiled. Leaning over Castiel and kissing him on the forehead. Castiel's hands found their way to Dean's hip as he brushed his lips over his jaw. Dean moaned, running his hands up Castiel's shirt, feeling his chest. He had not realized how much he wanted this - _needed_ this - until this moment.

Castiel couldn't hold back a low moan that escaped his lips as Dean delicately explored his chest with his fingertips. Dean worked his kisses downwards, across Cas' jaw, then his neck and slowly to his chest. "Love you..." Dean whispered against Cas' chest. Castiel bit his lip running his hands up Dean's sides. "Love you too..." he mumbled tugging lightly at the hem of Dean's shirt.

Dean raised his arms, allowing Cas to pull his shirt over his head. In amazement, Cas ran his hands over Dean's chest. He brushed his lips lightly over Dean's tattoo, kissing it. _Breathing_ him in.

Dean ran his hand through Cas' hair, pulling him closer as his head fell backwards in pleasure. Castiel ran his hands over Dean's stomach humming quietly in pleasure as he did so. Reaching for the hem of Cas' shirt, Dean looked at him first as if to gain approval. Castiel nodded, raising his arms to let Dean tug it off. As soon as Castiel's face reappeared from beneath his shirt, Dean was kissing him again. Soft, delicate pecks. Castiel hummed in approval, copying the rise and fall of his lips.

Dean ran his hands back over Castiel's chest, which was remarkably well formed. Like his hands, fine scars laced his skin, forming shapes and patterns and beautiful swirls. It was a map, of a fallen angel's life. Castiel shuddered at Dean's touch. He reached around him to run a hand gently down the hunter's spine. A small gasp escaped Dean's lips. He buried his face into Castiel's neck. "I'm so glad we didn't do this inside." He laughed.

"So am I." Castiel hummed pressing his lips to Dean's collarbone.

"Fuck." Dean groaned. "You sure know my weak spots." He clasped Cas' hair in a tight fist.

Castiel smiled pressing his lips chastely against Dean's. "Good. I wanna make you feel good."

"Oh." Dean pulled him closer. "You do." He traced his jaw line. "Does this feel good, Cas?" He kissed, over and over. "Does it feel human?"

Castiel let out a low moan arching into Dean. "Yes..." He whispered breathlessly.

Dean pushed Castiel backwards, until he was lying down across the backseat and Dean was leaning over him. Castiel stared up panting, his blue eyes were now filled with vibrant colours. They were no longer the colour of the empty night sky. They were the day. "Dean..." he breathed.

Dean leaned down, kissing him gently on the lips. "Yeah..?"

"You're amazing..." Castiel whispered.

A soft laugh escaped Dean's lips. "And you're beautiful."

Castiel leaned up on his elbow, pressing his lips to Dean's while lazily running a hand the over the length of his back. Dean breathed in the rusty smell of the impala - his home - and ran his hands across Cas' waist. Cas let out a small gasp against Dean's throat. Dean continued to slide his hands down Castiel's legs but did not go any further, respecting the fallen angel's privacy. Dean was no longer cold - in fact, he was delightfully warm. He hugged Castiel closer. He could not imagine a more perfect place to be with the most perfect person.

Castiel shuddered under Dean's touch. He ran a trail of kisses along Dean and across his shoulders. He rested his forehead against Dean's shoulder. "I love you..."

What felt like a firework exploded within Dean's chest. He smiled, "I love you so much Cas..." He kissed him. "So much."

Castiel smile,d wrapping his arms around Dean's middle. "I could lie like this forever." Dean kissed Cas' neck. Castiel hummed in agreement.

Dean rolled over so he was no longer on top of Castiel but instead beside him. He stared into his blue eyes as he wrapped his arms around his waist, tracing a scar that lay a sigh, Castiel happily rested his forehead against Dean's.

"See, there are benefits to emotions Cas." Dean grinned.

"I never said I didn't like the emotional boost. I just said it takes getting used to." He smiled. "I actually think I like it a lot..."

Dean smile widened. "Good." He kissed him. "That's good." He kissed him again, harder. Castiel kissed him back as his hand came up to thread themselves into Dean's short hair.

Cas sighed. "I'm tired, Do you want to just sleep?"

Dean nodded, yawning. "If you have another nightmare...I am right here." He tightened his grip on Cas, so tight that he was suddenly able to believe they were no longer two bodies - but one. "I'm right here with you, okay."

"Okay..." Castiel whispered burying his face in Dean's neck.

"Sleep well my fallen angel." Dean whispered, gently kissing Castiel's closed eyelids.

Castiel tightened his arms around Dean and smile slightly. The music from the radio droned peacefully on in the background. The pair fell asleep on the back seat of the impala like this, a slight smile remaining on both their faces. For the first time in weeks, Castiel slept with no nightmares for the remainder of the night.

In the morning, when the sun was just beginning to rise, Sam found the pair sleeping peacefully in the car and laughed to himself. "About time."


End file.
